remembering my why
When we’re working toward something that sets the course for the rest of our lives, it’s easy to lose sight of the why as we get caught up in getting there. But where did it all start in the first place?
For me, it started in 2018 while studying for my MCAT, just after graduating from the University of Toronto. I felt empty, like something was missing from my journey, while also navigating feeling sick 24/7, never getting answers, or more importantly, solutions that would allow me to simply feel better. I took a break. I took a breath. I reached a low point and realized that writing the MCAT was just “another step” in a plan I had made when I felt differently about what it meant to be a doctor.
I navigated. I learned. I grew.
I found naturopathic medicine, not necessarily in its formal form at first, but I found alternative avenues to feel better. I advocated for my own health, did my own research and I pushed forward, knowing deep down that something about how I was feeling wasn’t normal. Those actions led me to understand that all along, the missing piece wasn’t fear of the next step, it was that the next step simply wasn’t the right one for me. With each new avenue, new challenge, and signs I truly believe were meant to be, I found what made me feel full again.
Recently, I was catching up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in a long time, talking about what the heck has been going on over the last ten years. I shared a version of this story, and the first thing he said was, “Wow, I hope that’s on your website.” I sat with that for a moment and realized how much I had forgotten this part of my journey while completing my clinical year, studying for boards, and navigating the new challenges of starting my practice. Somewhere along the way, I forgot my why. I just wanted to “start,” because it felt like I was at the tail end of that chapter.
But really, it was just the beginning.
Holding onto the why is what I truly believe helps me navigate my own path and support others in finding theirs, not only in their symptoms, but in the deeper reason for seeking my care.
I have wanted to be a doctor since I was five years old. Although my vision has shifted and changed, the core why has always remained the same. I carry that into my care for patients, the information I share, and the person that I am. Education and experience are important, those are things we all have as naturopathic doctors, and even medical doctors, but what sets us apart is what we do with that knowledge and how we translate it into everyday life.
Each patient is a reminder of my why and fuel for my dream of simply wanting to help people feel better, a dream that put me on the path I was meant to be on all those years ago. On my first day, I cried, not because I was happy, proud, or excited, but because I couldn’t believe I actually did it. Some of these final steps in my journey felt almost anti-climactic, and not because I don’t have the most incredible support or celebration around me, but because I was so focused on okay, now I work. In that moment, I reconnected with the reason I invested in myself and my education in the first place: because this was never meant to feel like work, it was always the vocation that found me .I am grateful and humbled by my title, and after my first week officially as Dr. Maria-Christina Conte, I am reminded.
Sharing this came to me in a dream, how prophetic is that? lol I hope that in sharing it, it sparks some reflection or offers a way to relate beyond my posts about how amazing naturopathic medicine is, or the reasons it should be part of your life. I want to help you find your WHY whatever that may be in your life right now.
